Day 9 - McWillpower

This might actually be the most difficult week.

Normally, the pattern of any diet that has actually made it this far is that I lose some weight, slack off a bit, and find by week 2 I've gone back to the start. I am definitely finding myself to be less disciplined since yesterday's weigh-in, but I've given myself a shake and hopefully can keep on the right path.

Today was fab though, nice and busy, and topped off with a fabulous trip to the local stately home park with friends to run the children like dogs. On the way home though, still salivating after they discussed going home via the chip shop (yes, you know who you are!), and a bit weary to face cooking, I offered to buy the eldest a Happy Meal.

What would this mean for our heroine? Would she go for a large quarter-pounder with cheese, large fries and a banana milkshake - 1495 kcal, 62g fat? Or would she eat the 'allowed' single hamburger - 250kcal, 8g fat (and no, there was no third option of beans on toast, not really...)?

What would you do? What would Tommy Zoom do?

What I ate today:

Bowl of mini shredded wheat, milk, and a slice of toast with extra light Philly

A ham and tomato sandwich, with extra light Philly instead of butter. 2/3 of a packet of Shapers crisps.

A solitary hamburger. Bloody hell, wouldn't you if you knew the cals and fat in the meal?!

(because I was starving by 9pm, and up for the night shift) Half a EL Philly/Ham sandwich.

Exercise of the day:

Carrying the eldest in a sling when her feet hurt.

Product of the day:

Free Business Cards from Vistaprint. All you pay is postage, and they will be fab for guerrilla marketing the sale I'm helping to organise.

Day 8 - Drum roll, please...

Ah, Bank Holiday Monday... an extra day of rest. I had some lovely 1-1 time with my eldest and my youngest, and the winds have receded somewhat. We played games, sang songs, I filed my nails...

Okay, okay, you don't really care do you? You want to hear the magic words? Well you'll have to wait. Patience, along with cheese-forbearance, is a virtue my child.

Woke up at 6, pottered around, went to the scales. Oh goodness, the trepidation. Would my 7 (count 'em) followers be laughing with or at me? Did it matter that I hadn't been to the loo yet? Should I bother taking my PJs off? Breathing in? Breathing out?

Apparently there is a 'correct' way to weigh oneself. I have one of those Weight-watchers-approved Tanita Body Fat schmancy scales. I have, however, learned long ago to hop 'lightly' off the scale before it zings my body with whatever electric shock it needs to calculate exactly how far into the Too Damn Fat side of things I fall. Hop on, hop off. Hop on, hop off. Hop on... best of three.

So that's what I did today. No animals or small children were scared in the measuring of this weigh-in...


Weekly weight:

10st 5.0lbs


What I ate today:

Mini Shredded Wheat and milk, followed by a slice of toast spread with low-fact cheese

Shapers chewy snack bar

Chicken and tomato sandwich, Shaper crisps, Mullerlite yoghurt

Crab and Asparagus risotto

The last of the Tesco Light Choices hot cross buns


Exercise of the day:

None.


Product of the day:

M&S Count on Us Orkney Crab and Asparagus Risotto. Mmm... sounds 'haute', elegant and delicious?

Do NOT be fooled please! Oh, for a start it looks nothing like the ivory creamy plateful on the packaging. It's very pink. And it has bits in it (to be fair, it is a shellfish dish). And it's sloppy, and smelly, giving it both the appearance and odour of cat sick (I should know).

In the interests of research and my 7 followers (tell your friends, dammit!), I took one for the team, held my nose and ate it. It was okay. It tasted like fish paste crossed with ambrosia rice pudding, with parmesan on top. It is not something I would ever buy again, and I am pretty easygoing with food. Ah well, lesson learned. That's 8g of fat I won't see again...


Did you notice by the way? It's working! Extra pressure now into week 2...

Day 7 - Shop In the Field

Today we were all up early, so we went to a local car boot sale, or 'shop in the field' as my eldest knows it.

Lots of tramping about in (very) fresh air, and we bought a few bargains. All good, except the continual waft of bacon sandwiches from (it felt like) every corner. I succumbed. Are you surprised? I said I had no willpower back on Day 1. Only a couple of mouthfuls, but boy it was good. I defy anyone to go past one of those vans without wanting some.

Anyhoo, otherwise a relaxing day, lunch with the papers, etc. etc. The papers have their fashion supplements on Sunday, and my mind strayed to thinking about all the hoo-ha one hears of regularly, with regards to celebrities, fashion models, self-esteem, weight and dieting.

I'm almost 35. Surely I'm not influenced by them? I KNOW they are unattainably thin, products of genes I don't have and/or airbrushing I don't have access to. Pshaw!

But then I came across this report, of a study which found that any woman, whatever she looks like, experiences a negative impact on their self-image when they view images of models. Skinny girls too. Interesting...

What's the answer? I don't know, it's a million-dollar question. For now I'll just make sure I don't watch telly, or read a magazine before I get dressed in the morning!

What do you think?


What I ate today:

Sugar puffs (another trial size) and milk

A Shapers chewy snack bar (plus those mouthfuls of bacon sandwich)

Grilled chicken and tomato sandwich, bread spread with Tesco extra low fat cheese, a packet of Shapers crisps and a Mullerlite yoghurt

Tesco Light Choice sausages, mash and beans. Yum!


Exercise of the day:

Trekking around two fields of car boot sale


Product of the day:

Not something I ate myself, but at the farmer's market this weekend my husband bought some venison and pork sausages from The Wild Meat Company. I cooked these in a separate pan to my sausages, as I expected the pan to run with fat while cooking - but nothing came out of these plump sausages, not a drop of excess fat! Now I know venison is a low-fat meat, but apparently on further research it has less than half the fat of pork. So now I can introduce a healthier (if pricier!) sausage to my husband and daughter's plates. Good news!

Day 6 - Treading Lightly

I'm treading lightly today.

It all seems to be going okay, but I don't trust it. Now I have got through the first few days when it could have all just gone out of the window, I've got Monday looming... the day after tomorrow... what if I haven't actually lost any weight? I'm going to look and feel bloody stupid, and it's going to be almost unimaginably hard to motivate myself to keep going... ugh.

La la la not happening!

So, anyway, we went to Barleylands today. We're season ticket holders and I love that it's a farm park that's still got the farm bit going on. The last Saturday of the month means a Farmer's Market - a covered barn with local produce shown, and a LOT of it was in handy sample sizes on cocktail sticks. Danger! Danger! Whoop! Whoop!

Okay, I succumbed. The Merguez sausages from Giggly Pig were gorgeous. My eldest tried pretty much every lump of cheese and cracker and chutney combo in the place, as well as the bread pudding and blueberries. In total I had a few bits of sausage, a smidge of cheese straw and a couple of bits of bread. Not tooooo bad?

Lunch was a bit dull. Given that nothing had labels, nor could I pre-research food, I had a choice of a ham salad baguette (no spread, I checked) or a jacket potato. I appear to be one of the only people in the world who doesn't enjoy jackets so baguette it was. Dull but functional, not as appealing as the sausage, chips and beans my husband and daughter shared.

Having walked around the farm and shops, we returned home for an afternoon net-bashing (me) in preparation for a fundraising sale I'm helping to organise.

Brain sufficiently distracted, we're almost at Day 7...

What did I eat today?

Light Choices Hot Cross Bun (actually that was last night - I was starving)

Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and milk (found a sample pack in the cupboard)

Nibbles as listed

Ham salad baguette (and a stolen chip, I cannot lie)

Pizza and salad for dinner... yes, pizza! See below. And a Mullerlite

Exercise of the day:

Walking around the farm, carrying my eldest child in a sling, all 25lb of her.

Product of the day:

M&S Count on Us Ham and Mushroom Pizza. A teeny tiny amount of calories and fat, but let's be honest, not the largest pizza either. Still, it meant I could have pizza just the same as my husband and eldest child, and for me part of the diet means hiding from my daughter any obvious food differences she might question.

The base was nice at the crust, floury and with a home-baked texture. The mushrooms were a bit flaccid and damp, but the ham was in good chunks. Overall, the centre of the pizza was a little soggy, but it was a fair excuse for a pizza, overall. Worth trying again.

Day 5 - Eating Out

Mmm... I love eating out. As a family, we probably do it once a week, popping out for lunch somewhere other than home, introducing S to a few new foods, as well as eating out etiquette... we don't go anywhere Michelin-starred or particularly 'haute' (it has been 3 years now since I last went to the Ivy, sob), generally chain eateries attached to attractions or shopping centres, and generally during the daylight hours. But with two children under 4 that'll do for now.

I love the whole experience - being seated at a table I haven't had to clear laundry off; someone asking my opinion on what I want to eat and drink; (increasingly) not having to eat something just because my eldest will eat some; not slaving to have my food rejected, even by the cats; not having to wash up...

... and of course the darker side of eating out - people-watching and deciding what they do when they're not in the restaurant, muttering complaints about service, other guests, or the food (my husband and I make a hobby of seething quietly at the world), checking the bill and daring it to be wrong... it's all fun.

So the thought of not eating out while on this diet never crossed my mind. However I found that in order to keep on the right side of the 'treatment effects' I felt more comfortable picking a menu that included some things I could be sure of eating below my fat allowance, and for this I needed information.

The internet was my friend, and I searched the websites of various high-street chain restaurants to find out if they published their nutritional info, so I could make a choice and plan before I set off.

If we start with the basics, McDonald's do. I could have 4 nuggets, or a normal burger from them. No fries or anything else, and I don't particularly like the look of their salads anyway. But it's good to know that if the salivary glands call, I can eat there.

KFC do. I could have a single drumstick, or breast of chicken, but not a thigh. This information could come in useful one day.

I wouldn't eat Burger King if it was fat-free, so we'll gloss over that.

Pizza Hut do. Unsurprisingly, there's little I would normally eat that I'm now allowed. The chances of me going into a restaurant and eating only a slice, or maybe two slices of their pizza is so small as to be insignificant. Sigh.

Pizza Express don't yet. They offer calorie info, and their website states they will offer a full nutritional breakdown by the end of the year. So that's out then. Goodbye, cheese and pickle bread. Farewell quattro formaggi with ham and a soft egg...

La Tasca don't seem to, but if they do I couldn't find it...

Nando's do. It's a bit cumbersome, like the McDonald's one, but it's there.

I couldn't find anything from GBK. Shame, as we enjoy going there, it's always relaxed enough for the children too. Plus anywhere where you pay in advance is a good place for us, avoiding the 'you catch his eye' 'no, you' 'flash your boob, that'll get us the bill' epilogue to a meal.

I couldn't find anything in Wagamama's either. Not that my husband will mind, as he is phobic about rice... don't ask.

Ultimately, at some point I will need to re-educate myself, as well as my palate, about choosing combinations of ingredients and cooking methods that will enable me to maintain a (hopefully) lower weight. I'm not expecting to live my life on portion-controlled ready meals or restaurant food. But for now, and certainly during the 6-week challenge, I need this information, and those establishments who either don't publish or make it too damn hard to find? Well, they just lost my business. Big mistake. Huge.

Where did we end up? Nando's. It was fab. My review is below. My eldest played with the chicken table marker to her utter delight. My youngest watched the people go by. For a family lunch, that'll do.

What did I eat today?

No night wakings for me, so a single breakfast of Shreddies and milk.

Another Shapers bar for a snack.

Chicken fillet pitta with a mixed side salad and a 1/4 portion of fries, with diet coke.

A Light Choices hot cross bun.

A piece of toast spread with extra-light Philly.

Exercise of the day:

Shopping

Product of the day:

Chicken Fillet Pitta (see photo above) with mixed side salad. The 'side' salad was pretty large, dinner plate sized in fact. It was basic mixed leaves, cherry tomatoes and slices of pepper if you looked hard enough. Still, by taking the chicken out of the pitta and eating it and the salad with a knife and fork it lasted ages, and the strong taste of the chicken meant I didn't feel like I was eating bland food. I am not sure I actually needed the 1/4 portion of fries, but I ate them anyway.

Day 4 - I fought the cheese...

Wow, I can't quite believe I'm still on the wagon.

I was tempted sorely by the cheese on toast S had for her tea tonight... but I didn't even lick my fingers, honest!

I'm tired. Whether that's the weather, the screechy constipated child, the older child who wet the bed last night, or even the diet, I'm tired. If I ever had a grain of willpower it would have done nothing against today normally, but somehow I didn't dive into the cheese as I would have done before... maybe this is something I can stick to?

Tomorrow will be a test though - beginning a 4 day weekend with the family, including some eating out. Wish me luck...

What did I eat today?

Light Choices Hot Cross Bun (3am)

Shreddies with milk

A 'fried' egg sandwich, bread spread with extra light Philly, and a chocolate Mullerlight

A banana

Another ready meal, this time Tesco Light Choices Mushroom pasta, again with extra chicken.

Exercise of the day:

None. I know this is something I need to work on

Product of the day:

Not a diet-related one this, although if I hadn't discovered it I think the cheese would have been a goner, due to a worm on my main PC... something free from Microsoft, who knew?

Day 3 - The Rainbow of Lard

Still here? Fabulous. Own up though - how many of you are eating right now as you read? If you are, what are you eating?

Still fat, still working on it.

How do I know I'm fat? Well, overweight is the term. My BMI is over 28, and when I look at the purdy charts so commonplace these days I'm firmly in the wrong band for my height (I'm 5ft tall).

Weight's only one factor of course, as anyone will tell you. Ultimately, my clothes fit poorly and I want more confidence. My clothes won't fit better unless I lose weight, so that's what I'm hoping to do.

How much should I weigh? Well, again consulting the illustrated rainbow of lard, somewhere between 7.5 and 8.5 stone. Ouch. that's 2 stone less than I am now, though personally I would probably be happy with 9 stone. I was 9 stone before I married, and before I first fell pregnant. That'll do me.

How about you then? Which colour are you on? There's also a helpful calculator here to make you feel really good about yourself...

I wasn't always overweight. In fact I was underweight till about 10 years ago. I see in my skinny (the link tells me, underweight) daughter my own childhood. Skinny as a rake, with a teeny waist that meant nothing ever quite fit right.

Did I think I was underweight? No, of course not, and when teenage years came crashing upon me I decided I was actually too fat, or at least the wrong shape, being a proper pear. Of course I wasn't. I was bloody gorgeous. But there you go...

What did I eat today?

Slice of bread and extra-light Philly at 5am (those early feeds are killers)

Mini Shredded Wheat and milk

Ham salad wrap, and a Light Choice hot cross bun

A Shapers bar as a snack

A Light Choice ready meal, pasta with peas, broccoli and cheese sauce, with some extra grilled chicken thrown in.

Exercise of the day:

Rocking a screaming 12lber for approximately 2 hours.

Product of the day:

Tesco Light Choices Cheese and Broccoli Pasta. I microwaved this, and it was actually pretty good. I added extra grilled chicken within my allowance, and otherwise I think I would have felt it too bland. In any case, it bought me ten blissful minutes away from the screaming boy-child, and that's worth a pound of anyone's money.

Day 2 - Fruit Loop

Well, I think we can declare day 1 a success. Let's be honest, some of my 'dieting' attempts don't even make it that far. So how was day 2?

Well a day alone with both children is always prone to snacking. A day when they are both testing me to my limits is prone to tears and chocolate. I did stay on the wagon, though to be honest it was wine that called in the early evening (note to self, find out how much fat in wine - none, surely?).

The cupboards are looking a little fuller at the moment, as I've stocked up on low-fat versions of things in readiness, both at Boots and Tesco, my local supermarket. I can't have butter on my bread so I've substituted extra light Philly. I can't fry in lots of oil, so I've bought some of those spray oil cans.

What you probably won't see in this blog are recipes for from-scratch foods. My history with food, as a child of the Seventies/Eighties, embraces convenience. I am a fair cook when I want to be but I just don't have time usually, or the inclination. I know a lot of mothers of two or more who cook wonderful things, and my hat is taken off to them, but I wasn't a big cook before children and I certainly haven't found the time to develop the skill since. Perhaps when my tastebuds are retrained a bit, I'll seek out more ways of cheaply and healthily feeding the family. Till then, I'm not rocking the boat with more than one thing at a time!

That said, we currently have tomato plants growing on the windowsill (they smell, who knew?!) and we definitely eat better since my daughter was weaned onto solid food - after all, we feel it's important to role model healthy food, as well as introduce her to where food comes from, raw ingredients and cooking - so we do what we can.

I'm also restricted by an intolerance to most fruit. I usually call it an allergy, simply because I find that using the word makes others less likely to sneak fruit into meals we might share. It started when I was about 12, when I linked my migraines and general ill-feeling with consumption of juices in particular. It means though that for over 20 years now I haven't had fruit juice, or indeed much fruit at all. I seem to be safe with raw strawberry, and banana, and in the last few years have added grapes (in moderation) to the list. I even tried a pear last year, and an apple - but I'm still wary.

This impacts my life in subtle ways - in a pub if I want a soft drink it's just water and cola to choose from. If I go to a restaurant the only desserts I can eat tend to be chocolate based (not forgetting the lure of the cheese-board). In home life, my husband Gavin eats fruit with our daughter. In diets, there are whole swathes of suggested meal plans that are hard to adapt away from fruit, so I end up just cutting down, or eating bland food, which may be the key to at least some of the diet failures.

Most of the time I don't give my fruit issues a second thought. I'm well trained now to avoid them. That doesn't mean I don't remember with longing the halcyon days of drinking lemon squash or apple juice while poring over my latest library acquisitions on warm Saturday afternoons... mmmm...


Anyway.


What did I eat today?

A bowl of Shreddies and semi skimmed milk

Two Tesco Light Choices wraps spread with pesto cottage cheese, filled with grilled chicken and salad.

My snack was a Shapers bar

Two Light Choices sausages, with mashed potato. Followed by a MullerLite yoghurt.


Exercise of the day:

Tearing my hair out at my threenager and teething baby



Product of the day:

Tesco Lighter Choices Cottage Cheese with Red Pepper & Pesto - I am not usually a proponent of cottage cheese, as it tends to remind me too much of baby vomit, but I thought I would give it a try. It was okay. Still looked a bit like lumpy pink vomit but it worked well in the chicken salad wraps, and while the flavour was subtle, it did distract me from the fact I was eating cottage cheese. Sooooo low in fat it's worth trying again.

Day 1 - Fat Fighter

Hello! How are you? Feeling a bit weary? Pull up a chair and I'll stick the kettle on. Fancy a bit of cake?

I'm Marie, 34, and I'm embarking on a crusade to lose some weight. Perhaps you'd like to keep me company?

So anyway, I'm overweight, I have no willpower, and I've decided to recruit an ally (geddit) in my fight, so I'm starting the Alli 6-week challenge today. Why Alli? Well, in common with a lot of my friends, I feel like I've trawled my way unsuccessfully through a number of diets, and all I have lost is money and my faith in my willpower.

I also realised that the only time I have lost weight successfully was when I was forced to; when I was pregnant with my daughter Sofie I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and forced to control my diet for my health and that of my child. I did, and I ended that pregnancy mere pounds heavier than when I had conceived. So for me, perhaps the key is being compelled to stick to a diet, rather than relying in willpower alone.

Why is Alli a threat? Well, it's a proven aid to your own slimming efforts, but it is known as much for its possible side-effects (also known as 'diet-related treatment effects' if you're the manufacturer, also known as 'sharting' if you're a sniggerer) as its efficacy. I so do NOT want that to happen to me, so hopefully by holding my digestive system to ransom in this way I'll stay on the straight and narrow, diet-wise.

When taking Alli you need to watch not only your calorie intake, but your fat grams - for my weight I can have up to 12g of fat in any one meal without experiencing 'diet-related treatment effects'. 12g does not go far, especially not when cheese is one of the great loves of your life. In fact, I'd lose weight a lot easier if you could just carve slices of what must be pure cheese-fat from my thighs and place them on a cheese board with some grapes... sigh...

So, that's the plan. Stick around and find out how I do, eh?


Weekly weight:

10st 9.2lbs



What did I eat today?

A bowl of Mini Shredded Wheat and semi skimmed milk

A Boots ham sandwich, Shapers prawn spirals and a Shapers caramel/choc bar, washed down with diet coke (I ate out today, and bought a few extra Shapers things to last this week)

My snack was a choc/raisin Shapers bar

Beans on toast, with the toast spread with extra light Philadelphia



Exercise of the day:

Shopping, while pushing a buggy



Product of the day:

Alli 120 capsule pack. Variously available, but I bought mine online for £59.99 at Boots. Gulp. That would pay for a LOT of cake...